If It Comes Back to You, it's yours forever
by Nehan Shinzui34
Summary: 1stclass kink meme. Shortly after the they seperated a virus spread across the Earth that targeted psychics. Erik now keeps Charles in a fantasy he's created within a mirror room, completely isolated from the rest of the world.
1. Prolouge

If it Comes Back to You(its yours forever) by Nehan Shinzui

Ok, fellow anon, here's my attempt at a fill. First time ever, writing for livejournal. *awkward wave* I'm posting it on my ff account as well if you don't mind.

When it happened it happened quickly, so that no one had time to figure out what it was. There was a flash, and screaming and pain. Unspeakable pain. And so many voices. Then there was silence.

There were reports of course, coverage. There were pictures and they were full of blood. Out of their eyes, out of their ears and their mouths. They were going insane, voices were in and out of their heads and they screamed and clawed and couldn't breathe and there was so much blood everywhere and...

All he sees is a blur of white, of colors and there are new voices now, but they aren't in his head anymore or at least he thinks they aren't, and there is a hand on his head and where is he but it feels so nice and he can stop screaming now and it's oh so lovely.

Mirrors. That's the first thing Charles sees. And then he notices that it is quiet. For a moment is blurry, with the mirrors reflecting against the light. He moves forward as if to stand, but realizes he cannot feel his legs. A faint memory comes back at that, a bullet in his back and sand and Erik and...

"Charles?" Charles turns around and flinches. His face shows terror. "Charles it's alright."

Erik walks towards him almost nervously. He watches Charles fall backwards and realize he's in a a bed, almost like the one from his mansion. He'd wanted him to be as comfortable as possible.

"Erik..." his voice comes out weak and frail and Erik nearly all resolve right there. "Erik..what has happened. Where..." he stops, coughing and Erik moves closer to him putting an arm around his form, which is so small and delicate now...

"There was..a sickness Charles." he says quietly, and his arm tightens around him as Charles shifts uncomfortably under his embrace. "They say it was the meteor..."

"Meteor?" Charles' eyes widen slightly at this and Erik fixes him with an...odd stare.

"Yes," he responds after a pause. "The radiation from it...it did...something. It affected mutants, but only telepaths or psychics. We're not sure why."

Charles gives a face that shows nothing but utter confusion. "What about the children?"

He ignores this question for the moment. "I built this place for you. It used to be Shaw-Shaw's room."

"But why...didn't we..." and Charles begins to struggle again, his thoughts foggy as he tries to pull these thoughts to himself.

Erik puts on a pained expression and this gives the telepath pause.

"I was worried this might happen." He brushes a lock of his hair aside. "I'm doing this because /i love you. I couldn't let anymore harm come to you."

"What do you mean?"

"I know I've wronged you many times Charles...but we still love each other, don't you remember?"

"What?" Charles shakes his head, and that makes his head swim so badly he almost has to throw up. "But...you and I...I thought-" And there is the sound of bullets again and it hurts so much and_ pleaseerikplease_.

Erik looks so shatterd at this, Charles goes silent.

He gives a heavy breath and continues. "I suppose not then. I should've expected this but I suppose.." he gives a dry laugh. "Shortly before all of this-he gestures at the mirror walls all around them-you and I...I realized how wrong I was. I was so wrong about everything Charles." He grips Charles' hands tightly. "I understand that I could never turn around and make things the way they should be again. But you, despite everything...you forgave me. You saw good in me, Charles. This..this is the least I could do for you, my love. You gave me everything. _Everything._" His tone is a little suggestive at this point, and Charles in spite of himself, blushes.

But it makes sense doesn't it? What other reason would Erik have for keeping the voice out, for him, if they weren't...if he didn't...

"It's dangerous out there still Charles." Erik says, his eyes locking with his. "This place..it's so that I can protect you. The radiation out there, it nearly killed you and I can't...I can;t let that happen." Erik shudders, overcome with emotion.

For a moment, Charles says nothing. Tears come to his eyes suddenly and he is so tired. It's the only thing that makes any sense and he is so sleepy and it hurts to think.

"Thank you, Erik. Thank you so much. For everything. I don't know how I could _ever,_ ever thank you enough. You are too good to me." His eyes lower so he doesn't catch the look of shock in Erik's eyes.

And then he is suddenly, being pushed against the bedframe, his lips captured in a sudden in a passionate kiss. He pauses as if he is unfamiliar with the feeling. Erik's hands are in his hair and it is nice but...

"What's wrong?" Erik breathes against his lips, his voice thick.

""Nothing...it's just...different, I suppose."

Erik frowns and rises from his side. "I must go back-out there."

"But why?" Charles asks worriedly. He looks up at him, so utterly trusting and Erik's jaw clenches. "You said it was dangerous..." Another coughing fit erupts.

"It affects telepaths, Charles. But I have this-he gestures to the helmet that the telepath had barely registered-and in any case, I have to go and get more things for the two of us, since we plan on staying here for awhile." He backs his way into a piece of glass that he knows will lead him outside. "There are still so many things I need for you."

Charles is already fading back into the fog.

"Will you be back soon, my love?" he asks, his lids already drooping.

Erik stiffens, his heart pounding furiously. "Yes, my sweet. I will be back soon."

a/n: author apologizes for weak first chapter! *cringes* my computer has been proving yet again how much it hates me and is tripping the hell out, plus things are pretty hectic cuz my bro is having a going-to-college party today. so my mind isn't really in the right state. but it told you i'd have a sample fill out by today and so...*hides*


	2. Chapter One

ii.

In the reality Erik has created, he had never created the mirror room because he was scared of Charles. He had only made it recently to keep them safe. In this reality, he hadn't been in the middle of a war when the meteor struck and he and Charles had loved each other once again. (Or at least Charles had begun to love him, but let's not be too picky with details.) In this reality, the Psychic Death of 1964 never ended. Charles is dependent on him, and loves him completely. All they need is each other. In the reality Erik has created for them, everything is as it should've been.

...

Charles _adores_ him. He is always ready with a smile, whenever he enters the anteroom, always grateful and unquestioning of whatever Erik brings him. He is always ready with a kiss for him, always ready for Erik to take him, in any way he pleases, so eager to satisfy him it's almost unnerving. And Erik obliges.

...

He hadn't found a wheelchair for him yet(really he hadn't!) so him moving around so far had consisted of him being carried, his head buried into the crook of his neck.

"And really you shouldn't bother doing all this, it's not as if I have terribly far to go." Charles protested but he was sick and weak and needed to be taken care of, just look at him, barely sitting up and still so frail and thin. Besides, Erik likes holding him, likes having him so close at all times.

...

"What of the children?" Charles asks one day and the look Erik gives him is one of surprise. The thought had come to him suddenly, he has no idea why, but he can't help thinking that _some_how, there had been children involved before all of this.

"Children?" Erik asks incredulously and Charles drops it.

It had been a rather absurd thought anyway.

...

_"Erik you must stop this!_"_ he screams and that is all he has time to say before a metal bar slices through his neck decapitaiting him, Hank falling sideways as blood squirted from him. But he is responsible for Mystique dying, for mutants being infected with this _cure, _this_ disease_, that stops them from being who they truly are. Angel looks at him in shock before moving past them. They must continue. _

_..._

"Do you think it will ever be safe to go back out there again?" Charles asks him one day or night, he doesn't know.

Erik pulls him closer, planting a kiss atop his head. "I don't know Charles.I don't know."

...

a/n: eurgh. my writing will get better, I promise/hope. Party today.


	3. Chapter Two

a/n:my computer fucking hates me. every time, . TIME. i try and get my fic writing together it catches chlamydia. smh anyway...

The words in italics are Erik's memories, not Charles', just to make that clear. If you're reading this on lj I'm posting anonymously so I'll put little things that sayi or ** around those words. Or something.

iii.

Erik really had cared for him before. If only Charles had understood that.

...

_He begins to understand the true nature of the virus when he hears what happened to Frost. He sees again for the first time since he sent her to the battlefield and she is weak now, barely alive, screaming uncontrollably, blood leaking from every orifice as she switches from flesh and bone to diamond and back again in flashes._

_She screams about voices in her head and it dawns on him, who the 'minority affected' are._

_"Charles."_

_..._

Charles nudges him out of his sleep and Erik knows he must've spoken in his sleep, when he captures his companion's worried eyes looking up at him. He lay curled under his arm, his head resting beneath his chin, looking so completely innocent it takes Erik everything he has to remind himself that the telepath is still ill, still weak and he couldn't _possibly_ be able to handle the things he feels like doing to him right now. But Charles, apparently, already has something in mind as his hand begins to travel downwards.

...

Charles isn't sure why he's doing it, even though surely the two of them must've done things like this before, right? Surely, that'd be something Erik would be expecting. Anyway, it's the least he can do, after all he's done...provide a little...comfort. His hands hover for a moment over Erik's member and he looks up into his friend's eyes and places his hand firmly around it and Erik's breath hitches slightly. He uses his arms to lower himself so that he is between the man's legs, the metal-bender's eyes slowly reaching a cold lucidity now. _Like this?_ he thinks, before he remembers he cannot broadcast his thoughts to Erik when he's wearing that thing right now and he repeats the question aloud, quietly, uncertainly. "Like this?"

...

Erik looks down at Charles his mouth slightly open. The younger man is hesitant, his blue eyes locked in mild confusion unsure of what to do, attempting to remember how this must've _worked._ He bends down and swallows. Erik gasps and suddenly his body is a tangle of sensations as Charles is trying to recall exactly what he liked._ But of course, there's nothing to remember, _and Erik abandons that thought as Charles is licking and kneading and oh so many wonderful things.

Was it like this, like this, like _this?_ And that sinful little mouth of his...so glorious.

...

_Several times, Erik is this close to having what he wants and at last, he has it, his lips capturing the other's over the chess board, all thoughts of the next day forgotten, as his hands grasp onto his hair, his hands pushing inside that suit and finally _finally, yes god...

...

And he is pulling Charles upwards now, flipping him on his back, brushing his failed legs apart, tearing off the small amount of clothing he is wearing and damn his weaknesses, he was begging for this. Charles' eyes are wide open now, and if he looks scared or shocked, Erik doesn't see it, because now his lips belong to him again, the kiss deep and passionate. He will have him now, goddam him and it will be just the same, only different now because, of _course, _but that isn't what's important now.

...

_Charles gasps, his bruised lips widening, so utterly enticing and Erik pushes him back until he is against the wall, his lips grinding against his and he needs this so much, needs this before everything ends before Charles won't want to look at him again._

_..._

He places kisses all along the man's neck and shoulder, placing bite marks and bruises on his person, his large hands gripping his waist pulling him entirely over him, and he mutters lowly into his ear, "Like _this._"

...

_Charles was complacent for a moment, but now he struggles, his head shaking in a soft 'no', but Erik is persistent now, he must have this, it is the only thing that's keeping him together, he cannot deny him, and he _will_ have it,_ _he_ will.

...

He enters him now and he isn't entirely sure he can feel it, but Erik is only hearing what he wants now. And Charles must feel _some_thing or maybe he's projecting on himself, because he gives a sharp gasp as Erik bites into his neck with an especially hard thrust, and that tight heat has him breathing harshly as if he'd just run a marathon. Charles whimpers beneath him and his hands reach for his hair as if to run his hands through it, but it only touches cold metal and that sensation isn't familiar to him at all, if only he could touch it, if only for a moment...

...

_Charles shakes his head, his hands pushing against his chest in protest._

_"Erik, I am sorry."_

_..._...

Oh, but Charles is his now, completely and entirely his, he can see it in his eyes.

_All mine._ And he is thrusting again, so close, his green eyes locking intensely with blue, and the room is shaking, the mirrors shaking and trembling._ It's all mine now. _

_..._

_"I am sorry my friend."_

_..._

But that matters not now, he has what he wants and Charles is calling his name and he has him underneath his thumb. And he is so _beautiful,_ so _perfect._

_..._

_"But we cannot."_

_..._

_"Erik.."_ Charles whispers against his lips and his frail mind is already drifting again and Erik presses Charles' head against his chest, his chin resting atop his head. He has what he wants. "I love you, Charles."

...

"I_ cannot."_

_..._

a/n:um, so was that better? I tried to brush up on my totally shitty spelling mistakes and stuff like that. *fidgets nervously*. So far, I have some good ideas of what I'm going to put in upcoming chapters and trust me, Erik is only going to get creepier with the tactics he uses to keep Charles submissive and forgetful. As with most of my stories, I have a clearer idea of the ending than the beginning unfortunately. Please don't hesitate to give me any constructive criticism you may find suitable. Also..I am REVIEW WHORE. Sorta. *violent and agressive winking* BTW, my dumb ass computer keeps fucking up everytime I decide I wanna start working on my fanfiction I swear everything was just fine and dandy but then as soon as I start getting plot bunnies, the dependency server refuses to start. *murder face* So Imma try to update as best I can, because X-men fanfiction is the place to be right now! lol So review, review, review! And I looked up that paraplegics can actually have sex, technically but there may be a loss of sensation of course, which is why I added the part about Charles projecting on himself. Please attempt to boost my self-esteem lol


	4. Chapter Three

If It Comes Back To You(It's yours forever) by Nehan Shinzui

a/n: my computer is my worst fucking enemy. Sorry for the long wait! Thanks for the reviews and alerts!

iv.

_The war is in full effect by the time Erik has fully taken on the moniker of Magneto. There are many more just like him, betrayed and outcast by the humans, tired and ready to take their rightful place as the superior beings of this world. That's what Erik tells them and he's always been a man with the power of persuasion. He's had that ability over all he's encountered but one it seems. And there are just as many people like Charles, he discovers._

...

Charles has been getting terribly bored lately.

He tries not to show it-Erik knows he hates complaining-but it's evident in his appearance. So he builds him a chess set-by bending the metal from the floor into acceptable shapes and he garners books from a used store(from the scraps he tells Charles).

His lips curl into an unbelievably grateful smile at this.

...

Erik has taken to simply staring at him for long periods of time, just staring. He observes every contour of Charles' face, every curve of his body, memorizes every little thing about him and clings to every single piece of information he can. The smooth way his throat bobs when he drinks something. The slight curve of his mouth when Erik looks down at him with him in his arms. The delicate way he holds a chess piece or a page. It's all so utterly _perfect._

...

_They've attacked about four major cities now and with varying levels of success. He hasn't seen his friend directly() since he betrayed-since he left him, has been avoiding it and he makes no plans to come face to face with him just yet.(Because secretly he knows, if he were to see those eyes just now, actually _look_ at them...he doesn't think...he doesn't think he could-) But none of that matters anymore. The humans are well aware of them now, and just as he predicted will begin paying for their sins and just as he said, they are already beginning to try and round them up, make them animals. And he had warned him, he had and he's so sorry Charles, but he did warn him._

_Charles apparently, still fights for his 'higher cause' still believes that they can be integrated successfully. He actually tries to protect these..people, these inhuman monsters even while they wish to kill him. _

_And Erik is starting to come to the conclusion that Charles prefers those that wish him harm, who would like nothing more than to see him bleed out at their feet like the rest of their kind, even though he himself has never done anything to hurt him, would never, _**could** _never wish any harm to come to him. Had he really been so repulsive?_

_(Oh, but you've already harmed him haven't you though?)_

_Charles has chosen the humans over him._

_..._

"Charles."

Red lips twitch slightly and he brushes a hand across his face.

"Charles."

That voice calls him again, and he has the weird feeling he's forgotten something. Something important, maybe. But everything here is so soft...so soft and so pleasant.

He is rolled over onto his back and suddenly he's pierced with brilliant light and all he can see is his own reflection, over and over again and hands pull at his face, rough and possessive and something warm is getting planted against his cheeks over and over again. And ohgodwhere is he?

_He tries to run away but he can't feel his legs they won't move and mothermother please help him why is this happening and ohdeargodpainpainpain._

An arm presses against his mouth and his vision soon clears. And he realizes it's only Erik waking him up, only Erik planting soft kisses on him. Only Erik who has promised to keep him safe. Only Erik who has promised to keep him from the pain. His breathing eases again.

Charles eyes capture his and the older man's lips capture his again. Laughing off his panic at the moment, trying to cover his embarassment, Charles pretend pouts.

"_What_ is it, Erik?" his frown is half-false.

Erik doesn't hesitate.

"Do you love me, Charles?" he asks almost imperceptibly.

Charles is slightly taken aback. "Why..of course, I do. I've told you, haven't I?"

He leans up just so and pecks his lips against the others. He does, he does he thinks, and yet...it seems so unfamiliar. Out the corner of his eyes, he sees the mirrors again, and the panic begins to build slightly in his head and his chest.

_please don't do this erik, you're the better man, please please please don't i can't please please listen to me oh dear godpainpainpain motherstopitithurts_

Erik's hand grips his chin imploringly and he forces his vision away from those mirrors and those thoughts. "Yes, you have, but how much?"

His fingers bruise his jaw.

"I love you, Charles. More than anything did you know that?" His grasp lowers until there is slight pressure around his throat. "More than anything in the entire world. I would do anything for you."

The pressure is suddenly stronger and he finds it harder to draw in air. "Do you love me, Charles? Say that you do. Tell me I mean the same."

And suddenly he really _can't_ breathe and he struggles briefly against him, wishing he could move his legs to get out of here. Erik finally seems to notice and loosens his grip a little bit, without releasing him. Just the tiniest bit so he can speak.

"I-I love you, Erik. More than anything. Everything you've done for me...I can never love you enough."

_He tells him exactly what he wants to hear._

Erik's lips raise into a brilliant smile, until Charles feels he is almost drowning in it. Fingers caress his face once again. "I think we can live in this world again, Charles. Just you and me, together. Forever." He is once again wrapped one more in those firm arms, protected from those mirrors and the horror that is the world outside.

_Because he's beginning to think that he isn't quite sure._

_..._

a/n:um, more interesting stuff and creepier erik next chapter. i should have that one up soon, and more of the plot will be revealed. *sigh* i really do love this story but it's kind of hard to do. please give me critiques and REVIEWS and construtive criticism, because as you can plainly see i really, really need it. do you guys think it's getting boring too fast? i hope not. it's imprtant to note, i feel like saying that this story is set kind of surrealy, between flashbacks and the views of the disturbed erik and healing charles. i don't think i've ever gotten so many favorites or alerts so thanks a bunch for that guys! apologies for the late update and kinda lame chapter. please read and review! oh and can i just shout out some really EPIC fanfic real fast? Heat by IthildnGalad3 and Utopia by Takma'rierah are two of the very best fics I've read on here, so if you're looking for waaay better writing than mine, please check them out. Trust me _you will not regret it._ Anyhow, it's my birthday today(turned 16) and my sis is letting me use her comp since mines caught AIDS.


	5. Chapter Four

If it Comes back to You(it's yours forever) by Nehan Shinzui

a/n: er. this chapter came to me first, but I wanted to get the other one done before this. don't know why, it just seems like it would flow better. Thank you guys, so much for reading! Don't forget to review. :)

v.

Staying here is making Charles nervous, but he knows he mustn't complain because Erik has told him it isn't safe. His memory remains foggy and blank, but the pain is a lighthouse in a dark ocean. Still, he can't help wishing that he could go out at least once. The mirrors continue to disturb him, there cold surfaces reflecting every object in the room, splitting his life into monchrome kaleidescopes. Charles wants to feel the cool air on his face again, look at his garden, maybe even see the ocean one last time...

God. He is getting awfully romantic isn't he?

...

Erik has been able to expand the room's features so that he will be more comfortable, maybe give him some semblance of normality. But, while that is all very lovely and he can't thank Erik enough for that, it's becoming painfully obvious that they-well, _he-_won't be able to leave here for what will probably be years. He can't face that. However, he has come to depend on his dear friend, has come to physically need his presence. How easily this has happened he finds quite odd, but he soon finds that he is growing to like being taken care of, to like being coddled and held. He feels as though a great weight has been thrust off his shoulders. And if Erik is happy with that, then so is he.

...

He brings it up one day after Erik has returned from one of his excursions, bringing fresher foods. Gently setting his book(he's read it several times through) he turns to him, flinching as he sees the metal helmet still firmly attached to his head. For some reason, he kept expecting his lover to take it off, at least once.

"Erik." he states and the man reaches him, with a smile giving him a peck on his cheek, asking him what it is, and it's a gesture so domestic Charles almost laughs.

But he knows he shouldn't.

"Erik...do you think, maybe things have changed outside?"

The man's face, so recently one of loving tenderness suddenly becomes blank, and the telepath knows he must've said the wrong thing.

"It's just...there must be a world out there still worth living in. Surely, someone must've been aware of what was happening and measures must've been taken. We've been here an awfully long time haven't we?"

"Nearly a year now." Erik says tonelessly and Charles latches on to that bit of information, cataloging it.

"Yes, certainly the radiation isn't still-"

"You remain as ever, optimistic, Charles." he cuts across him, his hands leaving his. "But I'm afraid you are gravely mistaken. The world you once knew has changed in ways you couldn't possibly imagine."

Charles opens his mouth to speak, but Erik interrupts him once again.

"Is it not enough that _I_ at least, took some precautions to protect you? Do you honesty believe that the humans would not take this as some side in their favor, some supernatural act, that proves that everything they thought about us was true, that some God has been sent to punish us? Is it not good enough that I've done something, to protect at least one of you? Does that not satisfy you enough?"

His friend is visibly shaking as he says this, and Charles wonders if this is indeed what they believe. Intuition tells them they must've had this argument before, and Charles has neither the strength nor the heart, to try and counter that point. But still...

"Well...at least...I mean...there's no way for the radiation to get in here is there?" He forces a smile. "Certainly you could take off that silly thing can't you?"

"Exposure to my thought patterns after this time, will lead you to react in such a way similar to what brought the others into a state worse than what brought you here. My thoughts will literally destroy you, love. That is why I must keep it on."

This shuts him up. His face crumples slightly and he slumps backwards into the wall, his head sliding against the cool glass, and he shudders, as he sees the reflections of the walls, the two of them, the bed, the bookshelf...before he closes his eyes in a defeated way. "Yes. Yes, of course love, you're right." his voices cracks a bit.

He feels Erik's pressure next to him, and a warm hand is pressed against his face. "Everything I do...it's only to protect you, you know that?"

"Yes, Erik. I know."

...

When Erik leaves the room later, after he knows Charles has fallen asleep, he makes sure to keep this particular conversation in mind. He's starting to ask questions, he doesn't want to answer. Asking questions he doesn't know _how_ to answer.

As the mutant walks down the hall, he knows he must figure out some way to deal with this. Opening the second door, and closing it firmly behind him, he steps outside and removes the helmet.

...

Charles had been partly right when he said there must've been people that cottoned on to the event and were trying to take steps to deal with the problem. The lab he steps into now, is buzzing with men in lab coats, the collars around their necks hidden by stiff-pressed collars and pocket protectors and keychains. Noticing that he has entered the building, they act as if they are working twice as hard, their eyes purposefully avoiding his. He ignores them, heading instead to the place he knows will give him the information he needs.

He enters the smaller, more private lab and spys his target hunched over a computer, typing away hastily, one hand clutching a pen, that's scribbling away on a clipboard.

Dr. Adler has been one of the top people working on precisely what Charles has been talking about.

The Plague's effects have been remarkably brief, Adler tells him without looking up.

"Already the radiation is slowly beginning to recede. It appears to have done what it's come to do anyway."

He clicks away. Erik shoots at him, _And what is that, excatly?_

"I guess, to scare the living shit out of us. Theories are endless. But my headaches have receded and my neural systems are apparently coming back in full force. But, as of yet, I've made no signifigant breakthoughs."

They communicate silently for a while, but Erik's mind remains in a fog.

...

Before each and every meal, he stirs the concoction into his food, just a bit so it can appear gradual.

...

Soon, Charles begins to feel spontaneous headaches. It's been so long since he's felt this way, the pain is increased exponentially and he is left almost entirely paralyzed now, and he shudders against the bed, his temperature escalating.

_ohmygodwhereami whereserikpleasehelpme_

He's nearly incoherent as he writhes against him, his breathing harsh, and scattered.

...

Erik eventually slips him some medicine of course. He would never try to actually _kill_ Charles.

But it is safe here.

And he can't have him begin to think otherwise.

...

a/n: sorry if this seems a bit rushed! but i do hope you liked it! and feel free to give me any corrections you deem necessary, constructive critcisms, etc. And also, I'm thinking of starting to look for an editor or beta or something that can offer suggestions, and help? *sheepish grin*

thanks for reading and reviewing!


	6. Chapter Five

If it Comes back to You(it's yours forever) by Nehan Shinzui

a/n: Sorry for the long wait again, guys. I'm probably going to only be able to update on weekends now, because my computer is acting psychotic and won't even let me save to my USB anymore. I'm trying to figure something out though. So don't worry too much. Yet. Another important note: I've actually figured out a song that kind of fits perfectly with the tone of this story! It's called _Zerstoren_ by the German band Rammstein. They're one of my favorite bands and I was looking at the translations for this song, and looking at my story I was like zomg connection! So, _anyway,_ the point of me mentioning all this is to ask you guys if it would be totally weird if I just started inserting the lyrics into this story? I mean...just cuz _I _don't know. In any case, please review!

vi.

There are times, of course, when Erik begins to doubt himself. He wonders at himself when he watches Charles twitch fitfully in his sleep, his breath hitched in discomfort and pain.

_Safe._

The world can be beginning to heal itself just now, may be able to return to what it once was, if not soon, then one day. One day, it'll be enough for Charles to return into the world, for his life to become real once again. There was a chance for him to get better.

But Erik has seen what the humans have proven themselves to be capable of. What they will do, when they know that they are becoming lesser creatures. Saw it when Charles first got sick. And why should he have to ruin this small amount of peace they have? They are happier here. Charles is safe. Safe from the fact that he was wrong, that Erik isn't as good as he believes. Safe from the truth. And why should he have to ruin that for him? To show him the world as it is now...he couldn't bear it. He and Charles...they finally _have_ something. Now he can show Charles how much he means to him. Now he can show him how much he cares. How much he would never hurt him. Now, they can have the life he-_they've_ always wanted.

But he can't help in the back of his mind still doubting.

But Charles is the one who's always insisted on being the better man.

...

_As Erik has always known, the humans make the first strike. They don't come out directly with it at first. There are subtleties. Disappearences here and there. At first, for the first couple of months things are reported._

_"There has been a string of strange natural disasters..."_

_"Mass dissappearences in the Northeast area..."_

_"Conspiracy theorists claim..."_

_"There appear to be some forms of mass revolts originating in the West Coast areas..."_

_And then they stop reporting anything at all._

_..._

It's come back. The pain. At first it was a minor annoyance, something so small he barely noticed it. Then he can't eat. And that's when it hits him in waves. The pain. So much so it makes him sick.

When it happens, Erik is gone, has left him all alone. He calls to him. Begs for him to come. But he isn't there.

...

The blood comes next, the coughing tearing it from his chest, his whole body quivering in agony and heat.

_Erikerikpleasegodhelpme_

And he's weak, he knows he is, but it mother it hurts so much somebody help him he needs Erik his Erik is gone and _father stop yelling at me it hurts and why is this happening still Erik said he'd keep him safe and his legs his legs he can't feel his legs why can't feel his legs mother mother Erik anyone please just wake me up from this! _

_..._

His Erik saves him again. And he can't begin to think why he would ever doubt that he would ever do something that wasn't to protect him, his hands so warm and safe against his cheek, the cold water pressed to his lips and it feels so good again.

His Erik is gentle and loving and reassures him, his voice a soothing rumble against his skin.

In those moments, Charles wishes he could understand his words.

...

_It's when the meteor hits and after the raidation comes, that they become more assertive. More fearless. When Erik had begun his mission, they did most of their activities in secret. But now, they're saying they have God on their side. They rally around a man who calls himself Stryker, the savior of the human race. _

_This is when Erik knows he has a true opponent._

_..._

Charles comes out of the fog slowly, and his love is next to him, his hand in his, and when he sees him smile at him, he is filled with joy.

He uses the hand in his grip to pull the older man closer and press his lips to his. The helmet nudges against his nose and he gives a soft sigh, curling back into the bed. Behind Erik's head, their reflection stares back at him, and he gives an almost frightened shiver, and he curls back into the bed.

"My love." Charles says softly, his voice hoarse. "I am-"

"I know, my sweet." Erik interrupts him. "I know."

...

_Charles had had such high hopes. Had placed so much trust in mankind. Had been so completely and utterly _naive.

_Had been too good for this world._

_..._

_They are having one of those increasingly rare moments where they are alone, and where the tension of the world hasn't managed to seep through. _

_It is quiet between them, and Charles is in front him, reaching for a book, but of course his height causes him to have to strain and reach for it and Erik gives a small chuckle to himself._

_"It's just here you know, I almost have it! Really great stuff, Erik one of my favorites-"_

_Erik muffles his voice focusing only on his small form, before he lifts to his feet, and reaches over the smaller man, his hand brushing lightly against his fingertips before he brings the book down for him. He smiles down at Charles, more of a smirk really, and he swears he could've seen the man's cheeks redden slightly._

_"Needed a little help, Charles?"_

_Charles gives him a pout._

_..._

_The whole world is burning. Fire consumes everything. And how can Charles hope for peace now?_

_..._

_"I nearly had it." Charles replies, almost childishly._

_Erik laughs at him. "_Sure_ you did, Charles."_

_He hands the book to him, smirking at the glare the telepath gives him._

_"Now what was it called again? I'd had the notion you were going to tell me a bedtime story of sorts._

_Charles can't help but give a reluctant smile at this._

_It warms Erik's soul._

_..._

He wraps his arms around Charles that night, a solid barrier, his cheek nuzzling his ear and Charles curls against him, his fever already coming down.

It is then Erik notices the tears on his cheeks.

"Oh no, Charles my love. What is the matter?"

He doesn't reply for a moment,then, in barely above a whisper, "I love you Erik."

Erik gives him a glowing grin.

_His_ Erik.

...

_The Institute burns and he watches the bodies sprawled around him. The hole in Alex's chest._

_Hank's head, where he left it, among the debris._

_Sean, where he is laying, his throat crushed._

_All of them, trying to keep him away from him._

_It is easier after that._

_..._

His protector against the world.

...

a/n:Sooo, yeah. Erik's a little nuts. Just a little bit you know. Omg you guys, I've been listening to Amy Winehouse's album _Frank _nonstop lately and I am just freaking in love with this girl! Goddam those drugs! They freaking ruin everything! Oh, you guys did I mention how much I absolutely adore your reviews? I really do y'know. They make me twitch and flail all over the place and I check my email every five minutes to see if I've gotten anymore. Sorry about the wait and sorta weak chapter. By the way, if I start to get repetitive please inform me! Oh, btw in the comics Stryker was like this psycho religious fanatic who started this crusade to eliminate all mutants. After the House of M, he was one of the leaders who inspired mutants to be put in conentrstion camps. I may elaborate on those next chapter, so stick around! :)

Please read and review! Hugs and luffs and kisses!

Nehan Shinzui


	7. Chapter Six

If it Comes back to You(it's yours forever) by Nehan Shinzui

a/n: 8/7/11 Sorry for the long break, you guys! Anyhow, I think I'm sorta getting to the actiony parts now!

vii.

Stryker had taken control of the northern parts of the US, which Erik found almost to be a relief. Survival rates were lower in the cold, and food shortages were frequent and damaging. However, this did not change the fact of how deadly the colonel-well, general now if that made any difference-was. A too-large amount of the mutant population resided in the camps that Stryker had set up, being used as hostages, preventing him from making an outright nuclear attack on them. So far, they had resorted to quick, small, reconnaisance and liberation operations, but lately even those were weakened by the strong barrier and defense mechanisms of the human resistance. They were becoming ever more dangerous in their desperation, and Erik sighed with regret as he slowly came to the conclusion that they were going to have to lose a lot more mutants than he preferred if they were finally going to crush the humans. It would be a regrettable loss, but if his spies were to be trusted, some of them had already betrayed the mutants and that had been one of the reasons the humans were able to survive for so long.

Cowards like Hank had been, trying to hide who they were, so desperate to do so, they had even sided with the enemy so that no one would no the difference! And then there were the ones who sought to integrate themselves into the human society only to be rounded up and executed or put into camps and used for labor, to make _more_ of the weapons that destroyed their own kind! People who had been so naive as to believe that they could live side by side with the lesser being, people so soft-hearted that they could not see, no matter how obvious, the fact that the humans wished nothing more than to have them destroyed.

People like Charles...

He was abruptly pulled out of his thoughts by the chained figure next to him, her face thrown into sharp relief by the computer light.

"Where is he?" she asked him for the umpteenth time since he had brought her here. Erik gave an annoyed sigh in response her constant nagging one of the reasons he rarely chose to do research in here. But her CIA background provided him with information he wouldn't have been able to find otherwise since her organization had crumbled.

"Maybe I shouldn't have restored your memories." he remarked offhandedly as he sifted through the files. "But," he sucked in another breath. "I suppose you would have figured it out eventually, and you have been useful in a way. But not for long, I don't think."

She gave an almost animal-like howl as she lunged for him-or tried to. The chains instantly tightened around her throat, throttling her. He rose to his feet, giving her a final disdainful glance.

"He's somewhere safe." he tossed over his shoulder, before leaving her alone in the darkness, the chains once again slithering back into their place in the wall.

...

Stryker and his small army had attacked one of their bases that was close to their retreat in the north. Too close, he realized with a scowl. The humans inhabited most of Canada now, having been pushed as far from the shores as Magneto had allowed. But that still wasn't enough. They were still killing, still rounding up the mutants for slaughter. _Just like before._ He wouldn't let them this time though. Not this time, when he had to keep his Charles safe.

...

He was sleeping when Erik returned to him, his hair gently splayed against the pillowcase, his chest rising and falling gently. Erik climbed softly into the bed with him, brushing a stray hair out if his face.

"I'll keep you safe, Charles." he whispered softly. "Always."

Charles shifted slightly in his sleep, almost as if sensing his prescense, and Erik gave the softest of smiles, as he planted a chaste kiss on his head.

"I'll always keep you safe, Charles." he repeated to himself, the shine of the metal helmet reflected sharply by the glass.

...

"Yet again we find ourselves assaulted by this human menace." Magneto spat before the large crowd of mutants gathered before him. "A small village, full of children no less, is attacked by them and taken away." The crowd hissed in outrage. "For experiments!" he added sharply.

The crowd roared.

"Are we going to let them continue to do let them do this?"

They replied in the negative.

Erik quietly smiled. They were ready. They would attack in three weeks.

...

_The reporter looked as if he was struggling to keep his composure._

_"It appears as though the psychic population has been reduced to almost three percent of the entire mutant population since the event known as Decimation occured. There have been some survivors who have been recovering lately, but riots still cover the streets. Clinics are overflowing with remnants of the ps_y_chic disease and scientists and doctors remain baffled-"_

_..._

_"They run rampant like so many rats, overflowing our streets with their filth. How many of our children have become victim to this mutant disease? How many of us have been ravaged by this creatures?" Stryker's imperious voice boomed across the room._

_"How long will we continue to ignore the signs that these subhuman rats must be dealt with? He has given us the first sign already! Already, He has done most of the work for us, and taken the most powerful, and deceitful of these ravenous demons from their ranks, and left them ripe for the taking! It won't be long before they grow so desperate as to attack us!" He lay his head against his podium for a brief moment as if suddenly drained from energy._

_"And they will attack my dear brothers and sisters! But do not fret-it is in His plan that we shall succeed as surely as it was his will for his son to sacrifice himself for our sins! So let us be as he once was, and sacrifice ourselves in his name, let us be as Joshua was, and bring the walls of Jericho down, and burn the sin that we find inside."_

_The crowd roared with applause, as Erik shut the television off._

_..._

9/1/11A/N: my god, I am a shitty updater. I don't even know if this chapter made sense at all. Lord help me. And I suddenly seem to have this thing for religious themes. Huh.

Nehan Shinzui


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